Reaching For Normal Read online

  It was a simple reaction to her bravery.

  That’s all.

  Sawyer ignored the scents of chocolate and peppermint tempting him to lean even further in and stepped back. Myla’s wide eyes fluttered from his own to his mouth and back. He wanted to kick himself.

  Sawyer released her and stepped back, refusing to acknowledge the regret rippling through him. Dumb ass.

  Apparently, he really did want to kiss her but he knew it would complicate the hell out of his world and he wasn’t going there.

  Gunner whimpered, pulling Sawyer’s attention away from Myla. And knocking his brain into gear. Sawyer motioned Loco to his side, then tapped the dog’s muzzle. Then he pointed at Myla. “Protect. Loco, protect Myla.”

  Gunner would be the better protector but he couldn’t leave him behind. The animal was more wolf than husky himself. There wasn’t any real danger but Loco would make City Girl feel safer.

  He returned his attention to Myla. A terrified Myla who was working out plans to save his ass because she didn’t believe him about their safety.

  The howls behind him almost had him bolting and leaving her there without another word. Gunner whimpered and quivered. Good excuse to get the hell away and straighten out his head.

  “I’ve got to check this out. There’s no danger. I’ll be back.” Without giving her a chance to react or speak, Sawyer turned and fled with Gunner. Outwardly, he kept to a jog but inwardly he was running like hell.

  Once he was under cover of the trees, his shoulders relaxed, he picked up the pace and let the dog take the lead.

  She’d wanted to save him.

  That was his job. A job he’d been damn good at once. Before he’d let his buddies die.

  Now, this tiny woman didn’t think he was strong enough to protect her. Or even himself.

  She might be right.

  He’d almost kissed her. His legendary instincts had almost let him down again. The way his luck was going, the wolves would circle around and decide Myla would make a good snack.

  Gunner slowed to check out some bushes, then sprinted off to follow a trail no human could identify. No tracks in the wind-whipped snow but Sawyer had no doubt they were closing in.

  When they reached a rocky outcropping sticking up through the snow, the husky slowed and circled the rocks, sniffing. After long moments, he sat on his haunches and let out a howl that had Sawyer’s heart aching.

  They sat in tableau for a long minute, before Gunner rose and paced the area, checking it all out with his nose again. He tried howling several more times but never received an answer.

  Knowing the dog wouldn’t move past the line marked by the wolves as their territory, Sawyer crossed the outcropping and moved into the trees. He searched in all directions but couldn’t find any sign of wolves. No tracks. No howls. Nothing.

  After several frustrating minutes, Sawyer returned to find Gunner laying on the ground, head on his front paws, looking like someone had stolen his best friend. He knelt beside the dog and ran his hands over him, trying to offer comfort. “We’ll find them, buddy. We’re not giving up after one try.”

  Part of Sawyer wanted to head out into the woods and search on. Given another hour or so, he knew he’d be able to find something. Wolves were notorious for stopping to play. They rarely traveled quickly unless they were hunting.

  He couldn’t go on without Gunner or leave City Girl in the clearing.

  Nor could he go back in time and erase the almost kiss or forget the desire sizzling in her eyes. Obviously, he’d lost his mind. Anderson’s request to get him back into the world of guns and blood and death had twisted him up more than he’d thought.

  Time to get back to reality. This time with his head in the game, not up his ass.

  When they returned to the clearing, Loco lay on his back, feet in the air, while Myla rubbed his belly. Tongue hanging out to the side, the dimwit looked like he was in the seventh level of doggie heaven.

  Myla’s eyes searched the woods behind him. No doubt searching for hordes of wolves on the attack.

  “They’re long gone.” His voice was huskier than normal but she didn’t appear to notice.

  Shoulders sagging with relief, she gave Loco one more belly rub then tried to shove to her feet. Her weak leg faltered and she ended up on her butt.

  Loco bounced to his feet and licked her face while Gunner raced over to join the fun. City girl patted the dogs and laughed but she also used the moment to stretch her leg surreptitiously. It had stiffened in the time he’d left her in the clearing. More proof he wasn’t up to dealing with real people. He hadn’t even considered that aspect of her weakness when he’d taken off with the wolves.

  At his whistle, the dogs backed off and Sawyer reached under her arms and lifted her to her feet. This time, he made sure to use the correct amount of force so she didn’t slam into his body. “Thanks but you didn’t need to, I could have gotten up myself.” Her gaze skittered to his lips and back up.

  Because he wanted to yank her in and taste her, he released her and stepped away. No kissing. No thinking about kissing.

  “Time to head back.” He turned toward the path they’d taken in, hoping she’d follow but not too closely. The last thing he wanted was a conversation and the woman loved to talk. She’d probably bring up the almost kiss. A kiss that hadn’t happened yet was absorbing him more than any kiss he could remember. His body was reacting to the idea of the kiss as if it was a damn memory.

  Sawyer could hear her steps wobbling because her leg hadn’t loosened up. Probably should ask her but she’d likely snarl at him rather than open up. Or ask him a question in return and he wasn’t ready to give any answers. Not until he knew what those answers should be.

  #freddyfreddyfreddy

  Myla leaned back in the tub and closed her eyes. Her morning stretches had been more challenging than normal and the steamy water eased the aches. Apparently, snowshoeing wasn’t the gentle walk she’d imagined.

  Not that anything in Bloo Moose was close to what she’d imagined.

  Certainly not a guide who was equal parts sexy and crazy.

  Running around the woods after a pack of wolves. That was more than crazy. Then he’d almost kissed her.

  Maybe. Maybe not.

  Her fantasies about the man might be clouding her judgment on that point. She needed someone to help her toss her virginity out the window and Sawyer Banks gave her tingles with more than his sexy looks. His inner strength and grudging gallantry made him attractive. Add in a mysterious past which caused a heavily shielded present and the man was pretty irresistible.

  He’d made it clear he thought Myla was failing on the sanity scale and that was good. He wouldn’t want a future with her so she’d never lose her heart to him.

  She wasn’t brave enough to broach the subject with him yet. If she was honest, she knew she might never be. If she let the thoughts simmer enough, they might lead to action. Almost two weeks left in her visit gave her plenty of time to find her courage.

  For today, she’d focus on something else. She hadn’t planned another excursion with Sawyer until the following day so she had the day free to explore Bloo Moose and get the feel of the town.

  Thirty minutes, more exercises, and a homemade cinnamon bun later, Myla opened the door to the parking lot of the B&B. Her courage might not have magically appeared but she was at least formulating a plan. Outside, snow floated from the sky, soft and fluffy, just like in the movies. The air was crisp, invigorating. Perfect.

  Myla stepped down one stair but, instead of holding her weight like it normally did, her leg gave out. Her foot slipped forward and up, exactly like a cartoon character. Every achy part of her body banged against a step or the railing until she landed in a heap at the bottom.

  All she needed was the stars circling her head and the cartoon image would be complete.

  “And that would be why most people wear boots in the winter.”

  Myla squeezed her eyes shut. It couldn’t b
e him. Even her luck couldn’t be that bad.

  “Anything broken?”

  Or maybe it could.

  Myla opened her eyes to find Sawyer watching her with equal parts concern and amusement lurking in his gaze.

  Sawyer held out a hand and waited while she tamped down the annoyance of being rescued again. When she let him haul her up, she managed to stay on her feet and not slam into his chest but she still felt the slam in hers. Touching any part of Sawyer Banks was worth the effort. Myla’s imagination zigged to touching him skin to skin, then zagged to how to get him there.

  “You okay?”

  Her need to be strong and independent wavered in the face of the sexy testosterone waiting for her answer. Independence won. “Yes. A few bruises in places that have lots of padding. Nothing to worry about.”

  He didn’t smile but his gaze roved her body like the torches she’d learned to use in a welding shop a couple of years ago. She wondered if his gaze was enough to boil her blood cells.

  When his eyes returned to hers, he gave her a simple nod and moved to the side to let her pass before starting up the stairs.

  Myla turned, not to check out his ass but to see how he managed the icy stairs. Okay, totally to check out his ass without ski pants.

  Well worth a look.

  His body froze and Myla whipped around to avoid having him catch her. Her feet slipped sideways, in both direction and she waved her arms like windmills. Instead of falling—again—she somehow got her limbs to cooperate and got herself back in balance.

  She didn’t have to turn to feel Sawyer watching. Giggling, she gave a finger wave over her shoulder. “I’m fine.”

  His snort was chock-full of disbelief.

  Myla giggled her way to the parking lot where she was knocked off her stride again but this time it was an emotional hit.

  Eggs covered Freddy’s windshield. At least a dozen shattered shells and gooey yolks had frozen in creepy abstract patterns on the glass. The mess had congealed until poor Freddy looked like something that should be mopped off a diner’s floor.

  Her stomach churned and her legs wobbled. She couldn’t imagine anyone doing this to Freddy. To her.

  “What the hell happened?”

  She jerked at Sawyer’s voice behind her. Unable to answer, she shook her head and fought back the tears. She hadn’t been in town long enough to make enemies.

  “Who’d you piss off?”

  “Other than you? I have no idea.” She didn’t have a clue. She’d hardly spoken to anyone since arriving in town.

  When she didn’t respond, Sawyer stepped away to check out Freddy’s side panel. Whatever he saw had him stopping short and his gaze cut to her.

  Expecting more eggs, she was shocked when a few steps let her see the door. LIAR had been smeared over the green paint with something white.

  Heart pounding, she walked to the other side.

  BITCH.

  Clamping her lips together, Myla reached out to touch the mess but Sawyer’s hand clamped down on her arm. “Don’t touch it. Evidence. I’m texting the police.”

  Myla snorted. “This isn’t TV, Sawyer. No one’s going to care that my car is covered in what should have been someone’s breakfast.” Horrified at the watery wobble in her voice, Myla squeezed her lips together and swallowed hard against the lump in her throat. Poor Freddy.

  “Sawyer, what do you mean there’s been vandalism in my parking lot?” Darby flew down the stairs of the B&B—without slipping—and slid to a halt beside her brother. “Oh, no! Who would do this? Why?”

  Both good questions.

  Darby reached over and pulled Myla into a hug. Her arms wrapped around her and she squeezed tight. Myla stood like a statue, unable to respond. She couldn’t remember being hugged before and she didn’t know how to react. Before she could move her arms, Darby released her and walked around the car, pointing and exclaiming at the mess.

  Sawyer watched Myla with those assessing eyes. Today was not going to be the day she pulled off normal.

  A police cruiser pulled into the lot and for the next half hour, they all answered Deputy Vi Hart’s questions. Sadly, most of the answers were variations on, “I don’t know.”

  Kids playing a prank seemed likely but the words felt personal. Very personal. Except that she’d spoken to a grand total of five people in Bloo Moose, three of them standing with her in the parking lot. Quinn at CharterGear and Mel from Mel’s Garage. None of them likely suspects.

  Liar.

  Bitch.

  Even in her brand new winter jacket, she shivered but the cold started deep in her belly.

  Someone hated her. And she didn’t have a clue who it might be.

  EVEN as he drove, Sawyer wondered how in the hell he’d ended up with a scared and silent Myla in his truck on the way to do another snowshoeing session.

  Darby was hell on wheels when she had one of her fabulous ideas and he never could resist the look she’d perfected as a kid. The look that left her older brother completely unable to shut down whatever ridiculous idea she’d come up with. At least he wasn’t stuck in a doll tea party wearing a tiara but he was still stuck.

  After Mel had towed the car away, Darby had made them drink hot chocolate and eat brownies. Well, he’d had coffee but the women had apparently required all things chocolate.

  Then, Darby had insisted Sawyer take Myla out to a new trail to replace the lesson she claimed he’d ruined because he’d chased after the wolves and left Myla alone.

  How any of this was supposed to make Myla feel better about someone defacing her car, he didn’t have a clue. Then again, women were most often complete mysteries to him.

  So, now he was stuck spending another afternoon with a woman who appealed to him on many levels. Tough, sassy, smart. A body he wanted to explore and taste.

  A woman he would do well to stay away from. And not only because Darby was in matchmaking mode. No, Myla Esperanza was a whole lot of vulnerable beneath that tough exterior and he didn’t do vulnerable.

  Her eyes were full of secrets and dreams. He wasn’t in the market for dealing with either.

  If she was interested in spending some no-strings-attached naked time, he’d be all in. A bout or three of steamy sex would be more than a great way to relieve some stress, except that Myla pretty much exuded fairy-tale with happy-ever-after vibes along with that vulnerability. Hell, she hadn’t even known how to react to Darby’s hug.

  “What branch of the military did you serve?”

  “Navy.” The quiet question had Sawyer answering before his brain kicked in. Sneaky. After Jen, he never answered personal questions from women. “Why?”

  She shrugged and kept looking out the side window. “Just curious.”

  Alarm bells rang. “Why?”

  Myla threw him a sardonic glance. “Trying to break the awkward silence?”

  That drew a chuckle out of him. It was awkward. “I can take you back.”

  Myla shook her head. “I’m too afraid of Darby.”

  Well, they had that in common. “Are your muscles up for more snowshoeing today?”

  He could almost hear her spine crack as she straightened it. “I’m fine.”

  Of course, she was. He doubted she ever admitted to weakness.

  “How long were you in the military?”

  He hated the questions. After the fiasco with Jen, he didn’t talk to strangers about his time as a SEAL. Hell, he didn’t talk to anyone about it. “Long enough.”

  Her head swiveled toward him at the gruff answer. “What does that mean?”

  Long enough to watch his buddies die. Long enough to screw himself up beyond repair. Sawyer tightened his grip on the wheel and shook his head slightly. He wasn’t getting dragged into that conversation.

  “Tell me again why you suddenly have the urge to snowshoe at the age of,” he paused and sent a look over her, “twenty-six?”

  Her smile lit up her face. “Nice redirect. Obviously you don’t want to discuss your time
in the military. Noted. And you’re two off. I’m twenty-eight. You?”

  “Thirty. And nice redirect of your own. Is there an aversion to snowshoeing in your family and you have to keep your trip secret?”

  He’d expected her to laugh but when he slanted her a look, her eyes darkened and their light faded.

  “Nope. Just wanted to try something different.”

  There was obviously more to that story but Sawyer wasn’t about to dig. Not when it meant she’d have every right to dig back at his story.

  After a few minutes of awkward silence, he slowed to take the turn into the parking lot near the trailhead. It hadn’t been plowed, probably because Sawyer was the one who usually used and plowed it, so he shoved the truck into four-wheel drive and sped through the bank.

  Snow flew in all directions and Myla let out a squeal as it covered the windshield. The wipers cleared it almost instantly but he couldn’t stop the chuckle. “Guess I should have warned you. Sorry.”

  Myla’s hands gripped the front dash and her mouth opened and closed a few times before she got the words out. “What are you doing? Are we driving in a field? Are you crazy?”

  “Parking. No. Maybe.”

  “What?” Her pitch was high enough to call the dogs who were miles away.

  “I’m parking. It’s not a field, it’s a parking lot, although it hasn’t been plowed in a while. And maybe to the crazy question.”

  Myla shook her head sharply and let out a deep breath but didn’t let go of the dash until he put the truck into park.

  “We’re here.”

  “Here, where?”

  “Darby’s appointed destination. If you’re still up for it, let’s go.”

  He moved to the back of the truck. It took her a few moments, probably ungluing her hands from the dash but she joined him as he slid on his backpack.

  “Where’s the view Darby talked about?”

  Sawyer waved at the woods. “Through the woods, about a half-hour in. You should stretch before we go.”