Reaching For Normal Page 21

  But Jen wouldn’t believe that and she wouldn’t consider it fodder worth killing for.

  “Tempers flare in that kind of environment. Everyone’s temper. No one is immune to it.” He let his voice hesitate as he spoke. Used his emotions to power it. “Add in homesickness, isolation, and rifles and you get some serious fuel for disaster.”

  Except they were trained for all of that.

  But Jen’s eyes lit up at his words. Hell, she almost salivated at the thought of the chaos and madness he described. How had he not seen this side of her in the short time they’d been together?

  Because she’d been tricky. They’d talked mostly about him. He hadn’t even known she’d had a brother. He’d taken her interest in him as a positive but the whole time she’d been interviewing him.

  Time to use her desire for horrors against her. He shook his head as if reliving these memories was hard.

  He kept his voice low, hoping to lure her away from Myla. “It was one of those afternoons where the heat was almost visible. So thick, breathing was a challenge. The gear weighed as much as an elephant and the uniforms were made of sandpaper.”

  Sawyer let out a breath and looked up at the sky. Sure enough, Jen crept forward. But the gun stayed steady.

  “It started after lunch. Crap rations and too little water.” Another step as his voice dropped again. “We’d been holed up in that same squalid corner of the mountain for eleven days. Eleven. One of the guys claimed he’d spotted someone running through the trees. Wearing a neon pink outfit. Crazy, right?”

  Which it was. Complete horse shit. But it was working. “Some of the guys figured a little girl was lost, so they headed out. Others figured the ass had been dipping into the moonshine and stayed put.”

  “Which were you?”

  Sawyer shrugged, rubbed his hand over his eyes. “If there was a little girl in the bush, we couldn’t leave her there.”

  Jen’s laugh sent shivers down his spine. “Always wanted to be the hero. Stupid man.”

  As she laughed, her rifle dropped away from Myla.

  Sawyer lifted his gun and aimed at her.

  Before he could speak, Jen retaliated. Her roar sent the hairs on his head straight up. Without any hesitation, she whirled on Myla and fired.

  #reachingfornormal

  Myla threw herself to the side as Jen—psycho, crazy Jen who’d screwed over Sawyer—fired the rifle. The rope that she’d frayed had loosed enough to let her flop to the side.

  Bark exploded around her head but the bullet missed.

  Sawyer yelled and charged forward but Jen screamed and moved closer to Myla, gun wobbly but terrifyingly close.

  She couldn’t die before she’d told Sawyer she loved him, that she wanted to find a future with him.

  The rifle waved at her, getting closer with Jen’s steps. The ringing in her ears from the shot drowned out most of the words but she knew they were yelling at each other.

  Sawyer wouldn’t need much of an advantage. Only an instant. He wouldn’t need to look at her to know she was awake. The man noticed every last thing. He’d notice if she tried something. He’d use it stop Jen.

  All she needed was to try.

  Jen backed up another step. The woman’s crazy factor had amped up even higher since she’d spotted Sawyer.

  The silly woman had sucked up every word of his made-up story. Maybe Myla could use that.

  Words were her thing. Her livelihood, her solace, her escape.

  Another step closer.

  And another.

  Forget the words.

  Myla kicked her legs out and into Jen.

  Pain shot through her already injured knee but it was worth it.

  Jen tumbled down on top of her. The rifle fired again and Myla screamed for Sawyer. Had he been hit?

  Then Sawyer grabbed Jen’s hand and tried to wrestle away the gun. Arms still tied, Myla used her feet to help.

  Another bullet zoomed by.

  Sawyer roared and Myla wrenched against the rope.

  Weight lifted off of her as Sawyer rolled Jen to the side and slammed her into the ground. She released the rifle and he kicked it to the side.

  Jen didn’t quit. She kicked and screamed, scratched, tried to bite but she was no match for his strength.

  Sawyer rolled her over and hauled her hands behind her back. He held her in place and turned to Myla.

  His eyes were completely flat. Complete SEAL mode.

  In only seconds, Sawyer had pulled off his pack and tied Jen’s hands and feet with the rope.

  He retrieved the rifle and a smaller gun that must be his and moved to Myla’s side.

  Squatting down on her left so he could keep Jen in his sights, he pulled a knife from a pocket and cut the rope binding her arms.

  She would have slumped to the ground if he hadn’t caught her. He swore viciously as he eased her stiffened arms in front of her.

  Tingles the intensity of lightning bolts ran from her shoulders down to her fingers and robbed her of her ability to speak. Sawyer’s hands held her steadily even as he rubbed her gently until the zings dissipated enough for her to think.

  “You okay?” Sawyer’s voice was rough and when she looked up, his eyes were anything but blank.

  Fire sparked. And more.

  She shivered and nodded. “Thanks. You saved me again.” Her voice wavered and she bit her lip to keep herself steady. When that didn’t work, she lifted her hands to cover her mouth.

  Sawyer frowned and lifted her hands palms up. Her wrists were raw and bleeding. Her stomach tipped at the sight of all of her blood and she closed her eyes and blew out deep breaths.

  “Hell, these are bad, Myla.” His voice shook as he hauled over his pack and sent another glare at Jen who continued to rant and rave as she squirmed against the bonds.

  She wasn’t the least surprised when her SEAL pulled a first aid kit out of the pack. The man thought of everything.

  “Sorry, sweetheart. This is going to hurt but we’ve got to get those clean.”

  Myla gritted her teeth and focused on keeping an eye on the woman who’d caused all the trouble. A woman who had tried to use Sawyer. A woman who had killed an animal to try to manipulate him. All so she could write a story to make a name for herself.

  Anger sizzled through her and she hoped it would be enough to distract from the pain.

  Nope.

  Antiseptic seared into her cuts and she ground off the top later of her teeth to keep in the whimpers.

  Think about Jen who’d tried to use her to hurt Sawyer. Tried to use his pain for a story. She’d blown up his snowmobiles and set a moose on them.

  “Easy, sweetheart, easy.”

  Myla blinked and found Sawyer wrapping her wrists with gauze. His eyes were lasered in on her face. “You okay?”

  She nodded even though she wanted to snuggle into him and stay that way forever.

  “What do we do now?” Having a plan always helped. Getting Jen back to town would be difficult. There was no way the woman was going to cooperate. And as angry as she was, even Myla couldn’t leave her alone and bound in the bush. “If she’s tied securely, I can wait here while you go for help.”

  Eyes narrowed, Sawyer muttered. “Every damn time.” Then he leaned in and looked her directly in the eyes. “No. You’re not being alone with her again. Never again.”

  “I’ll be fine.” She thought about telling him she could keep a gun with her but that wouldn’t be a good idea. She doubted she could shoot a person. Even Jen. Unless she was going to hurt Sawyer.

  “No.” His inflexible-as-steel voice indicated he didn’t want her to argue. Too bad.

  “You’d be able to get help more quickly without me.” She didn’t want to tell him about her knee yet. The rifle butt and vicious kicks from Jen had it swollen. Walking wasn’t going to be fun. “How far would you have to go to get cell coverage?”

  Sawyer’s hands gripped her shoulders and brought her nose to nose with a pissed off, over-pr
otective male. “No. I’m not leaving you. Not ever again.”

  Even knowing he didn’t really mean that, Myla’s heart swelled with longing.

  Instead of arguing, she leaned forward and brushed her lips against his.

  He froze instantly, so she pressed her advantage and kissed him again. “I love you Sawyer.”

  When he didn’t move, not even to blink, she swallowed deeply. Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything but she couldn’t keep the words locked in any longer. It was too big and bright and wonderful.

  Another soft kiss. “Don’t say anything. You don’t have to say it back. I know how things are but I needed to say it.”

  Pleased her voice had managed to get out all of the words, she didn’t bother to resist the urge to kiss him again.

  He still didn’t react.

  Laugh or cry? Or plunge ahead.

  “Relax, Sawyer. It’s okay. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m a big girl. I’m not going to turn into a psycho like Jen. My feelings aren’t your responsibility.”

  But her voice wobbled on the last words. She looked down so he wouldn’t see the tears wanting to escape.

  And that broke whatever spell head held him frozen.

  He tilted her chin up until she couldn't avoid looking into his eyes. Intense. Determined but more than, that she couldn't tell.

  She was tired of being a coward, tired of hiding and not taking chances, so she didn't make any attempt to mask her own gaze. She let all of her emotions run through her and let him see the truth.

  She loved him. Wholly and completely.

  For long moments Sawyer studied her without any change of expression. Then he kissed, hard and quick. Then again.

  Too fast for her to register the emotions behind the kisses. It might've been goodbye.

  Sawyer hauled Myla to her feet and leaned her back against the tree. His eyes burned with emotion but she didn't have time to react before he was kissing her again, his big hands framing her face and his strong body holding her up.

  Her brain blanked and she couldn't do anything except kiss him back. She didn't want to do anything else. Ever.

  When Sawyer finally pulled back, it was only enough to pin her with the furious stare. "I do worry about you. Always. Not because you're not capable. You are. Hell, you're more capable than anyone I know.”

  His voice was slow and deep, brimming with anger. "You're too brave for your own good. You’d die before admitting you needed help. And you're stubborn. So damn stubborn.”

  He squeezed her shoulders hard then stepped back. Talk about mixed messages.

  Myla leaned against the tree while he started to pace and she wondered if he was telling her he loved her or if he was breaking up with her.

  “Of course, I have to worry about you. You're sure as hell not worrying about yourself. Never do. You didn't say a damn word about your wrists."

  Sawyer’s eyes narrowed on her jacket and he moved around the tree. “And this. Look at this. Your jacket is ripped all the way through. Completely in half. How the hell did you even do that? But do you say anything? Do you mention you’re cold? No, of course not. That would be too much like asking for help."

  Myla tried to protest but he wasn’t listening.

  Sawyer tugged her away from the tree and peeled both halves of her jacket off. Apparently he hadn't been exaggerating about her tearing it in half. She hadn't realized the tree had done that much damage.

  Sawyer unzipped his own jacket and slipped over her arms and zipped it up to her chin. Scowling and muttering the whole while.

  As he released her, her knee wobbled and he swore again. In seconds, Myla was sitting propped against the tree, his pack under her knee to give it support. He watched her face as he gently probed the injury. Then he cursed again.

  "It's fine, Sawyer. Nothing’s broken."

  He tossed up his hands and paced, finally stopping when he reached Jen who was squirming against her bonds.

  “You didn't panic when facing down a rifle held right on you. Instead, you tried to free yourself. You probably saved your life because you’d loosened the ropes enough that the blow to the head didn't kill you. You didn't even mention your head. It's probably sporting a bump the size of a hand grenade but you didn't even tell me."

  With the way Sawyer was rambling, she wondered if she would ever get the chance to tell him anything ever again.

  He stomped over, pawed through her hair and growled when he grazed the lump. “You didn’t say a word.”

  He turned and walked away, past Jen, to the trees and back. "Then you tell me that you love me but you don't give me a chance to say it back. Or say it first. You tell me not to say anything at all.”

  He shot her a glare and then leaned down to check on the rope keeping Jen tied. Apparently satisfied, he turned back to her, eyes and body still radiating pissed-off.

  Myla couldn't move, fascinated by her man and his bizarre reaction to her declaration. She suspected that somewhere in all of that rambling, he was telling her things she desperately wanted to hear.

  Hoping he would get to the point before long, she waited. Watched him prowl toward her like she was prey. Except the thought didn't scare her in the least.

  "See. You’re smiling. You don't even know enough to be scared to death right now. You've been tied up by a crazy woman who, along with her brother, killed the wolf and shot at us. She held you at rifle point, knocked you out.”

  “Her brother? That’s who you caught in the forest?”

  Sawyer waved away her question and continued storming around the small clearing, glaring at her and Jen equally.

  "And then you tell me you know how things are. You think you know how things are? You have no idea how things are. You're making me crazy, you know that?"

  Yes. That part she’d figured out.

  Sawyer ran his hands through his hair, shoving his hat off his head. "This is how things are. I have options. I can travel. I’m not tied to Bloo Moose permanently. Captain Anderson wants me to run training centers for security forces around the country. Maybe the world. It would be interesting. The places would be interesting. There would be lots of activities, lots of adventures. All kinds of things to write about. I think. I don't know. But we can figure it out. It's flexible. I’m flexible. Well, I've never been all that flexible but I can learn. I will."

  Sawyer took a deep breath, then shook his head and let out a growl. "You put yourself at risk all the time. You put the safety of others ahead of your own. You don't stay where it’s safe. You don't listen to reason. How could I not love you?"

  His roaring words had her grinning. "You do?"

  Sawyer stalked toward her, squatted down so close that his heat reached across the remaining inches, and warmed her. Made her smile. This time when his hands framed her face, they were so gentle it brought tears to her eyes.

  He frowned again and shook his head. "No way, Myla. You've been so strong, so tough. You're not going to cry over this."

  But she was. Tears flowed even as she smiled and he wiped them away. "I love you, Sawyer."

  "I'm going to hold you to that, you know. I want to hear it every day." She nodded and he brushed his thumb over her lips. "Every day. Think you can handle that?"

  Myla lifted her hands to put them around his neck but he stopped her by holding them gently and kissing the bandages. He totally undid her.

  "On one condition." He raised an eyebrow and she was shocked by the vulnerability in his eyes. He was the strongest man she's ever known. Now he was unsure, waiting for her answer. She didn't make him wait. "Only one."

  He nodded, eyes dark and unblinking.

  "I'd like to hear you say that you love me when you're not growling it."

  His lightning grin flashed and his eyes changed again. They were full of tenderness. "I love you." The words and the kiss were soft. Gentle. "I love you." His mouth trailed over her face and her skin as he repeated the words again and again.

  “Finally. Maybe now, you'll
stop driving everyone crazy."

  Myla jerked at the sudden voice but Sawyer didn't even look up. Instead, he sighed and shifted until he was sitting propped against the tree with Myla sitting on his lap. He tucked her in and kissed her again before finally looking up at Quinn and the police chief. “About time you got here."

  Dave turned to Jen and checked the ropes keeping her tied. She was shrieking and spewing again. Myla hadn't even noticed, she’d been too wrapped up in Sawyer.

  As she listened to the woman now, she wondered if she’d become completely unhinged. She truly seemed to believe that Myla had stolen her life from her and that Sawyer owed her a career.

  Loosening the ropes around Jen’s ankles enough that she could walk, Dave and Quinn hauled her to her feet. "The sleds are close. We’ll be in cell phone range in a couple of minutes. Do you want to squeeze on or wait for someone?"

  Sawyer glanced at her and she shrugged. "I need Myla to be checked over by Nick. I think we better wait, send an extra sled."

  Sawyer's voice had hardened again and Myla reached out to stroke his jaw. He kissed her quickly and turned back to his friends. "Let the doctor know we're bringing her in."

  The man nodded and walked off with Jen who had lost steam when no one would listen to her. She didn't protest as they walked off through the trees.

  Myla sighed and snuggled closer to Sawyer, enjoying the security of his arms – and his love – surrounding her. “Did you mean it?"

  He chuckled softly and kissed her hair as his hands stroked her body. "Every word. You drive me nuts, Myla."

  “Hey.”

  "It's true. You're going to make me crazy." Despite the warm amusement in his words, she poked him in the chest. He took her hand and kissed her fingers one by one, that her palm and her wrist. "You're so strong. Beautiful."

  She started to protest but he put his fingers on her lips. Even that simple contact had her system jerking to life. She kissed his fingers and watched his eyes darken. Humor, desire, love.

  Myla reached up and tangled her fingers in his hair. With no visible effort at all, he lifted her and shifted her again so that she straddled him, all the while taking care that her knee was supported. Tears threatened again but she blinked to clear them. She had shed more tears in the last few days than in the last two decades.